Conversations on and on...
Unfortunately this is a sad "Did I ever tell you about the time..." Please read it, and then contact a friend you haven't talked to for a while and catch up.
Did I ever tell you about the time my friend Ray and I wanted to see Journey in concert. We got tickets to a show in 1981 in Saratoga Springs, New York. Saratoga Springs is about 2 hours from where we lived. Ray and I had our licences (just) but Ray's dad Tony insisted on driving us. He was worried that with Ray and I being such young drivers, we might have been tired from such a long drive, as well as driving at night. Thing is, Tony was narcoleptic and there were not two more attentive and alert people in that car than Ray and I making sure that HE didn't fall asleep.
Did I ever tell you about the time when I was young, during the first few years after my parents divorce, I pretty much could do whatever I wanted. I lived with my dad, and, he had his own struggles at that time, so I went unchecked from age 13 to age 16. In those 3 years I did just about everything you shouldn't have done. I was going down a very wrong path and there was pretty much no slowing me down. I moved back in with my mom, hoping to straighten out my life as well as hang around my old friends who were good citizens. I may have fixed some things, but, I still remained in touch with some of the bad influences and naturally, fell into some bad habits. I did get slowed down...big time, in 1979. Without going into details I had hit rock bottom. During this time, Tony came down to my house and talked with me. I had grown up with his son Ray and he didn't want to see me ruin my life. He made himself available to me when I needed it and promised to get me through it. By the following year I not only had cleaned up my act, but I was active with sports and doing well in school again. I credit Tony with stepping up and saving a good kid going bad.
Tony worked for IBM. He was the epitome of the IBM motto "THINK". He was in charge of safety and was known as the axe man for his stringent attention to the details of his job. To this day when I need to come up with something on the fly, I always remember Tony and say "Think Andy, Think" either out loud or to myself.
Most of all, I remember, that as a little kid, as a teenager and as an adult, Tony always treated me as one of his family. Yes, he ribbed me a bit. Everybody had to have a healthy dose of Tony ribbing to know you were part of his inner circle. But, make no doubt about it, he was a huge influence on my life.
I left my hometown in 1989. I last visited Tony and his family in 1990. One of those long distance things. They had their life in New York, I had mine in California. Gabi and I visted NY in 1991 and I had been back in 2000, 2002 and 2003, but never stopped by to say "Hi !"...Too much thinking about myself, perhaps, maybe just too little time on the trip to stop with my friends (total strangers to him, which thinking now he wouldn't have cared), but either way I had 4 chances, yet never stopped.
Tony died the other day. He was driving his bike on 9W in Highland, NY when a trucker pulled right out in front of him. The man was only 61 years old. It was senseless and tragic. Not only do I feel for his family, but I feel for everyone who knew him. Now, I also have to live with the fact that I never got to see him one last time. Never got to tell him about my wife and family. Never got to hear about his grandkids. Never got a chance to say thank you for everything he did fo me.
Regret...it is very hard to live with. Please, if you know someone who was a big influence, was special to you or just was a great friend and you have lost touch...find them and catch up. Introduce your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend or whomever. Just do something. I didn't, and now I am suffering, and can never do anything to fix it.
Rest in peace Tony.
Did I ever tell you about the time my friend Ray and I wanted to see Journey in concert. We got tickets to a show in 1981 in Saratoga Springs, New York. Saratoga Springs is about 2 hours from where we lived. Ray and I had our licences (just) but Ray's dad Tony insisted on driving us. He was worried that with Ray and I being such young drivers, we might have been tired from such a long drive, as well as driving at night. Thing is, Tony was narcoleptic and there were not two more attentive and alert people in that car than Ray and I making sure that HE didn't fall asleep.
Did I ever tell you about the time when I was young, during the first few years after my parents divorce, I pretty much could do whatever I wanted. I lived with my dad, and, he had his own struggles at that time, so I went unchecked from age 13 to age 16. In those 3 years I did just about everything you shouldn't have done. I was going down a very wrong path and there was pretty much no slowing me down. I moved back in with my mom, hoping to straighten out my life as well as hang around my old friends who were good citizens. I may have fixed some things, but, I still remained in touch with some of the bad influences and naturally, fell into some bad habits. I did get slowed down...big time, in 1979. Without going into details I had hit rock bottom. During this time, Tony came down to my house and talked with me. I had grown up with his son Ray and he didn't want to see me ruin my life. He made himself available to me when I needed it and promised to get me through it. By the following year I not only had cleaned up my act, but I was active with sports and doing well in school again. I credit Tony with stepping up and saving a good kid going bad.
Tony worked for IBM. He was the epitome of the IBM motto "THINK". He was in charge of safety and was known as the axe man for his stringent attention to the details of his job. To this day when I need to come up with something on the fly, I always remember Tony and say "Think Andy, Think" either out loud or to myself.
Most of all, I remember, that as a little kid, as a teenager and as an adult, Tony always treated me as one of his family. Yes, he ribbed me a bit. Everybody had to have a healthy dose of Tony ribbing to know you were part of his inner circle. But, make no doubt about it, he was a huge influence on my life.
I left my hometown in 1989. I last visited Tony and his family in 1990. One of those long distance things. They had their life in New York, I had mine in California. Gabi and I visted NY in 1991 and I had been back in 2000, 2002 and 2003, but never stopped by to say "Hi !"...Too much thinking about myself, perhaps, maybe just too little time on the trip to stop with my friends (total strangers to him, which thinking now he wouldn't have cared), but either way I had 4 chances, yet never stopped.
Tony died the other day. He was driving his bike on 9W in Highland, NY when a trucker pulled right out in front of him. The man was only 61 years old. It was senseless and tragic. Not only do I feel for his family, but I feel for everyone who knew him. Now, I also have to live with the fact that I never got to see him one last time. Never got to tell him about my wife and family. Never got to hear about his grandkids. Never got a chance to say thank you for everything he did fo me.
Regret...it is very hard to live with. Please, if you know someone who was a big influence, was special to you or just was a great friend and you have lost touch...find them and catch up. Introduce your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend or whomever. Just do something. I didn't, and now I am suffering, and can never do anything to fix it.
Rest in peace Tony.
posted by AndyP (Seattle, WA) at 6:06 PM
2 Comments:
Andy,
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It must be awful, especially as he was such a big part of your life when you needed it. It is a valuable lesson to us all.
I lost touch with my best friend for 12 years, but thankfully we are now back together and seeing eachother regularly.
It's scary to think that anyone we know could suddenly not be there any more. It doesn't pay to dwell on such things, but a reminder every now and then is good for us all.
Procrastination is one of the worst habits you can have.
I will add to Suzy's condolences. I remember in 1994 I was going to visit my Grandfather and at the time I was in a band and we got a gig so I told my Grandfather I would see him a few weeks later. Unfortunately he died of cancer (having never told anyone he had it) before I could visit again and to this day I regret never having gone to see him when I said I would. Like Tony was to you, my Grandfather was always the one who was there to help me sort my life out, quite possibly the only person I would ever listen to and take advice from. It's always the good people in life taken from us.
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